Absolutely Amazing

Brain puke enganged:

I am amazed everyday by the day-to-day lives of other people. The breif glimpses I get paint a very large and disturbing picture. It's one thing to be self aware, but it's another to be aware of things around you. I love how society has come to the conclusion that all of our problems are other peoples fault.

Brain puke suspended

I have to say, it has been quite a rough week. It's been 4 years, but I celebrated the passing of an uncle that was more like a brother to me. Being only 6 years apart it was pretty easy for us to connect like brothers. A lot of thoughts of him and the weekend he was killed in a car accident. That weekend I was supposed to go over to his house (he lived in Ohio) and we were going to hang out like we always do. It had been quite a while since I had been over there and it was long overdue. Today I cannot tell you why I didn't go, I just don't remember. We were in a low point in our friendship due me putting off helping him when I said I would. He had a lot going on at his new house and he was very excited to get things moving. Things were going really well for him at work. The process of getting promoted was in the works and he was scheduled to be married within the next month. At his funeral, it hit me that I didn't know any of the people there other than my own family. He had touched so many peoples lives and as close as we were I should've known more. I'm typically not one that carries guilt, but I know that he died not knowing the brother I should've been.

On a brighter note, my best friend was vacationing in France (whore). It's been interesting not having my normal understanding outlet. I've been lacking the interaction that I've come accustomed to.

Some things are going on at work that have really shown me how under appreciated I am. The eyes are now open and the mouth is shut.

What are you today?

The intended question was, "How are you today?", but the misspoken phrase got me thinking.

What are we today? I started taking stock in what I am...

I am man.
I am husband.
I am father.
I am son.
I am friend.
I am employee.
I am intelligence.
I am sarcasm.
I am lazy.
I am procrastination.
I am worry.
I am care.
I am love.

The list goes on and on, but I find it interesting how a choice of unintended words can have an impact on the thought process of those around us.

So, I ask you, what are you today?

Well-rounded

Recently it has been expressed that I may not be a well-rounded individual. Based on the fact that I don't do gardening or lawn work, among other things. The intention was to point out that I do a lot of things on the computer (ummm DUH!). Considering the source of such an accusation I immediately dismissed it, however it did get me to thinking.

Merriam-Webster defines well-rounded as "fully or broadly developed having a broad educational background". To me, this means one would know how to do many things in varying topics and areas. I personally believe I am a well-rounded person. I will admit that a majority of my skills have something to do with a computer. However, it's my career, hobby, and stress reliever. Computers aside, I would consider myself a jack of all trades, master of none. I've experienced carpentry, electrician, plumbing, landscaping, and a plethora of other vocations that would prove useful anywhere.

To deepen the puddle a bit. The true intention of the statement was a desire for me to be more active in the mentioned areas so that I would assume responsibility for those things, relieving the accuser. Perhaps a mirror should be supplied so we can find out who is well-rounded, or not...

Job well done... sort of

All too often it's been stated "task complete", but is it really? For example, "laundry's done", but there are clothes still hanging in the laundry room, socks are in an unmatched pile on the dryer, etc. Does that constitute job complete or is it another task to fold and put away the clothes? I am the master of incomplete work and procrastination, however, seldom do I say "I'm done" and not mean it.

Perhaps suburban angst has gotten the better of me today..

On the brighter side, I was able to find Real Genius on Amazon for only $4, and that just makes me happy and sad all at the same time. Happy, because I was able to find it so damn cheap, and sad that I didn't already own it.

Apparently I don't laugh enough

Last night I had the pleasure in going to a show starring Jeff Dunham. If you don't know who he is then I feel sorry for you because he is friggin hilarious. So funny, in fact, that my cheeks hurt from laughing so much. This morning when I woke up my cheeks were sore so I have come to the conclusion that I don't laugh near enough to keep my cheek muscles in shape...

From time to time..

I write poetry when I'm properly stimulated. Below are a couple examples...

Mania
Knowing there is light he embraces the darkness
Inner peace shrouded by inner chaos
Thoughts and feelings licking the soul
like flames to the heavens

A daydreams laughter becomes nightmares screams
brings balance to rampant thought
An inner voice cracks lacking confidence
words translated by emotion to crystal clarity

Constant thought muddled and confused
Heart and mind in epic battle
for the soul's acquiescence
for the soul's creativity

Uncontrolled meddling imagination
A far too silent conscience
held captive by the child
in delusional control of chaos

Accustomed to swirling thought
the silence of mental clarity deafening
Judgements clouded and shoved
by swirling emotion


To my father
I hate the way you make me cry
I love the way you make me laugh
I hate only having memories of you
I love the memories I have to cherish
I hate the way you leftI love the man I have become
I hate that my children will never know you
I love that I am able to give them a piece of you

I love you, dad
forever, your son.

Infuriating question

A question I've been asked several times is "Why do you love me?". That question I find very frustrating and very infuriating. How does one go about proving an idea? The only thing I have at that point in time is my status quo answer, "because I do". That answer is rarely accepted, so let me try a different approach. Let's try some examples or possibly better answers...

Because I hold your life in higher regard than my own. I would lay on the grenade for you, I would push you out of the way of the oncoming bus, I would choose you first in dodgeball. I would call you first when there are many other calls to be made. I would worry about you when there is nothing to worry about. I would try to make you happy when you are not. I would hold your hand when you're crying because you held mine when I did.

Why do I love you? 'cause my heart tells me to...